When the lights go off, and you get a backstage "all access" card, you realise that fashion is not what is seems to be, and being a part of it has nothing to do with how many Chanel 2.55 you own.
I was born with the blessing of fashion as a means of living. And it truly is the only thing I imagine myself being happy with. But then again fashion has nothing to do with being all happy and joyful.Yves Saint Laurent, the epitome of fashion extraordinaire, stated in the past that fashion was his curse. He couldn't live without it, but it made him miserable. That's how fashion works I believe. At least when you are interested in the essence of it rather than the buzz and flash lights.
Following: some of the reasons why..
These are some of the backdrops. And trust me there are twice as much. But in the end it's up to you to get away with most of these and use every single backdrop for your own benefit. Par example? Get that scholarship. Get a job at retail which means you won't have to intern as much when searching for a fashion job. Flirt on weekends. Eat while cutting a skirt. Make no mistakes, and if you do feel sorry for them. It takes a lot of sacrifice and self-doubt in order to get there. To being the guy smoking and yelling. Not that you have to become that exactly. But keep in mind, the guy smoking had no time to flirt, sleep or smoke when he was all young and anxious like you are. There is always a price to pay and if fashion is your own blessing and curse then there is nothing you can do but dance to the rhythm.