Drama note, not. Just a quick update on what I recently found out. For several years in my life, or maybe forever I used to divide people in categories. Those to whom I occasionally speak, those that we have fun together and those that are my bestest friends. The latter for me were people that I'd share almost everything with, never let down or abandon or leave behind or forget or whatever. And of course people change , evolve. And once we change the same people we used to like we now don't and vise versa . The thing is we all change at times. Does that mean that we can never keep a lifetime friend? Is everyone disposable with an expiration day on the back of their neck? I asked one of my teachers a couple days ago if she had any friends from teenhood. She said yes so I asked. Who is most important to you, your ever loving friends or your husband. She picked her soul mate. So I though that coupling actually destroys friendships. You cant actually be in a serious relationship and be what you were with your friends. Sounds logical sometimes. But think of what friends do for one another on more harsh times. Break ups, fights, changes, dreams. And of course if you are the friend who forgot you will be now saying: I grew up, I now think of all my past emotional outbreaks and laugh, I have my soul mate now. So what the f*ck??? Seriously? Was I a crying rag sh*t?
Getting into a relationship is a trend. Becoming b*tchy is a trend. Being jealous of your friends is a trend. And all those trends somehow become style. And style always remains, as the great Coco said about a century ago.
Throughout all these thoughts I realized that no one really cares about you that much as they say the do or think they do. They all say with this pityfull little style : “Come on, I care about you, dont get greedy”. F*ck off. Its a cliché baby dont do it. You do not care anymore cause your whole life revolves around something specific and I aint a part of it. The only thing that is sad about these situations is the loss of individuality. People getting attached to one another, losing their lives to the name of eternal love. 20 years later you wanna die but you have 80 children to take care of.
Whatever. Thanks god I can easily let go of my feelings for someone, which might sound bad but trust me, when someone does not deserve me anymore, I know it better than anyone else and leaving is the bestest of the choices. Cause if you do not make such a choice sooner or later you'll be a pillow and a pillow only. Good for hugging and crying on, but when the owner is happy the pillow now becomes her or his new date.